Ivan Masterov
Ivan Masterov
Read 2 minutes

Deadly sins of English, heard of them?

Hey, folks!
I'm not going to be crucially religious but I hope this comparison of mine hasn't driven you mad, has it?
Aye, there are 7 deadly sins in religion, they are:

  • Pride (e.g. I am the Father of English, ain't I?)
  • Greed (e.g. I wanna absorb all the words in English and never let go of them.)
  • Lust (e.g I want to possess every Grammar book in the world, they are mine!)
  • Envy (e.g. He/she has got better English, eh?)
  • Gluttony (e.g. I'll eat my words alive, aaaall of them, argh!)
  • Wrath (e.g. F*ck me lang, mate, if you're saying I'm bad at English, I'll kick your arse, eh?)
  • Sloth (e.g. Nah, I don't let meself learn English, I know it all, there's no need to help up, yeah?)

Though today we're about to uncover the veil of the 7-deadly-sins-in-English mystery, which I have come up with adopting some sources in the whereabouts of the Net, shall we?

  • "We cannot split Infinitives", they said. "Otherwise we won't know English", they said. - Bull sh*t!
  • You will burn in hell if you start your bloody sentence with "and" or "but" - F*ck off!
  • You will burn in hell for the second time if you end your bloody sentence with a preposition - F*ck off twice!
  • "Whose" is only for the living, eh? - Nah, the dead can use it, too, get it?
  • Write down "It is me", and your fingers will fall apart, ONLY "It is I" - Damn it, folks, only if you're OVER upper-class to the very far and farther.
  • Use "that" to speak about people, and they will eat you alive - Nonsense!
  • Double negative will crucify you and your family for ever - Pox on it, mates, double negative rules!

So, these have been the 7 sins-myths I've promised so far, folks, I am sure you understand that each one you can use otherwise, eh? :) I'm waiting for some awesome examples to prove that your MacVan is right, will you?